Column: Dear rich person: Please save the Chicago Tribune. You will be a hero. And I will mow your lawn.

Dear anyone rich enough to buy my newspaper:

Hi there! I’m sure you’re busy, and I don’t mean to be a bother, but I was wondering if you might consider purchasing the Chicago Tribune and rescuing this civic institution from the clutches of a hedge fund that has done to newspapers what lawn mowers do to azaleas.

In the two decades I’ve been here, my colleagues have changed laws, changed lives, saved lives, brought down corrupt politicians over and over and over again (we have a lot of them) and shined light on moments of otherworldly triumph and soul-searing despair.

... Please, anyone rich enough to buy my newspaper, this is a chance to save something important. This is a chance to be a hero.

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